Singer-songwriter & filmmaker Jess Silber’s music brings listeners along an intimately diving journey that explores heartbreak, change, joy, & grief through a variety of poetic lyrical compositions.
On Valentine’s Day, Jess shared the official video for “It Hurts To Love A Woman”. The video follows the queer story of two almost lovers on a quest for self-love, confidence, & sexual longing. Silber employed a distinctive filmmaking approach, shooting half of the music video on a high-end RED camera & the other half on a humble $20 camcorder.
The music video was a winner at the Global Music Awards, The IndieFEST Film Awards, a finalist at the New York Short Film Festival, a semi-finalist at Blow-Up Arthouse Filmfest, a nominee at the LA Independent Women Film Awards, & an official selection of the Macon Film Festival & International Music Video Underground.
The song was written by Jessica Silber, arranged & produced by Rob Taube & recorded at Groove Garden. The film’s Director of Photography is Jesse Coyote & stars Kristina Bermudez & Morgan Coyle-Howard. It was executive produced by Caroline Gaylon, & Chelsea Girvin, co-produced by David Spadora, post-produced by Laura Valk, choreographed by Kristina Bermudez, edited, coloured, & music supervision by Laura Valk of Skout, with hair and makeup by Hannah Lauren, set design by Desdemona Dallas, & intimacy consultation by Amy Northup. The music video is produced in collaboration with Project.KB featuring “Blades” Tee from Kris B Collection. Special thanks to Chelsea Girvin, Caroline Galyon, Laura Valk, & David Spadora.
Jess has kindly taken the time to talk with Fierce & Fabulous Revolution regarding the official video for “It Hurts To Love A Woman” & you can check out the full interview below.
Hey Jess, thank you so much for this interview. Can you start by introducing yourself to readers who might be unfamiliar with your music?
Jess: Hey Jess! Thank you so much for this opportunity 🙂 I’m excited to be featured on your site!
My name is Jess Silber. I’m pretty new to the world of making and sharing music. I’ve been writing songs since I can remember but kept my songs to myself for most of my life. I always say I’ve been a closeted songwriter for longer than I was a closeted queer. Bearing your soul on paper is one thing. Packaging it up and presenting it to the world is a whole other ball game. While the process of sharing is daunting I also don’t write with the intention of keeping it boxed up. I write songs to process and make sense of that chaotic inner monologue that never seems to turn off. I want to share that with anyone interested in listening and can only hope that my commentary on this human experience might just relate to someone, somewhere.
When did you first discover your love for music?
Jess: As corny as it sounds – singing in the shower. I don’t officially play any instruments so my songwriting evolved through exploring my lyrics through melodies. That rush I get when I find the perfect concoction of words to describe the feeling I am experiencing is what drew me in and continues to. I wrote my first song in elementary school and continued doing so for years until I finally built up the courage to share my music freshman year of college.
How would you currently describe your musical style?
Jess: That’s, of course, a question I get a lot and to be honest I haven’t nailed down an answer quite yet. I’d like to think it’s some sort of mix between jazz, indie, folk, and singer-songwriter? But it’s hard to say. According to AI, my genre also has hints of alternative rock and adult contemporary. At this point I don’t really mind what genre my music gets categorized in. Genres, like everything else in this world, have become so fluid. It’s more about whether someone enjoys listening.
Alongside music, you are also a passionate filmmaker. How did your passion for filmmaking come together?
Jess: I’ve always been passionate about telling stories. Growing up there was no substantial representation of queer women on TV (or in music). That affected my ability (along with a generation of others) to find my place in the world, and eventually motivated me to work towards filling that gap. So much of what we know and accept is rooted in what we see and don’t see on the screen. I really began to connect the dots when I realized I could leverage the medium of filmmaking to tell stories that I never had the opportunity to consume. Funny enough I actually pursued filmmaking, naively, thinking that it would be an easier path than music. Turns out they’re both just as hard 😉 And something I’ve only recently come to learn – you don’t have to pick only one path. Marrying my two favourite mediums of expression has been really fulfilling.
On Valentine’s Day you released the music video for “It Hurts To Love A Woman”. How did the inspiration for the video first come together?
Jess: Even after writing and recording the song, I still felt like I had more to say and feel outside the walls of the songs. I began to share the song with some very close friends, including Caroline Galyon who came to be my creative thought partner throughout the development and execution of the project. Caroline’s belief in the song and its potential really played an instrumental role in inspiring me to bring this to life. After endless chats and brainstorms, it became clear that making a short video for this song was a natural next step and above all, a necessary part of my healing journey.
For this video, we saw you take the approach of recording this video by shooting half of the music video on a high-end RED camera & the other half on a camcorder. What inspired you to take this approach?
Jess: We tend to remember the dark, painful, and even traumatic moments with such clarity (hence shooting on the RED for those scenes) while the happy, joyful moments (shot on the $20 camcorder) are clouded with a sort of blur that seems to grow over time. I wanted to use these drastically different quality cameras to highlight the power of the mind. When we focus and put so much energy into something that causes us such a great deal of pain, we become encompassed by that pain and start to define ourselves and that experience by that pain…That’s exactly what I did with this experience. I remembered the moments of pain and heartbreak so vividly that I began to lose sight of the parts of that experience that at one point in time gave me so much joy. I felt the best way to portray that visually was to create a very obvious juxtaposition in quality.
The video has already become a winner at the Global Music Awards 2022, The IndieFEST Film Awards 2023, a finalist at the New York Short Film Festival, a semi-finalist at Blow-Up Arthouse Filmfest, a nominee at the LA Independent Women Film Awards, & an official selection of the Macon Film Festival & International Music Video Underground. What does it mean to you to already see this video receive such a response & accolades?
Jess: Part of me doesn’t want other people’s validation to be the defining measure of my success but the other part of me is human and, of course, feels a sense of validation. Like we made something and told a story that has the potential to make people feel. Regardless of how many views it does or doesn’t get, the most validating moments for me have been in the intimate screenings with close friends and family. The moments where they’ve gone out of their way to tell me it was special – those are my nearest and dearest accolades.
What message would you like to see people take from the song & video?
Jess: I hope watching this video reminds you of the delicate nature of the mind. I hope it deters you from putting so much time and energy into harping on the negative. And I hope it encourages you to channel that energy into something that feeds your soul.
What does the song & video personally mean to you?
Jess: The meaning behind ‘It hurts to love a woman’ has evolved over time. I originally wrote it as a love letter to a close friend who told me they were numb. As someone who experienced and overcame depression, I knew I couldn’t teach her to love herself. That was something she needed to do on her own. It broke me to see her hurting, and it broke me even more to fall for someone who was not in a position to receive my love. And not just anyone, I’d fallen for a friend. I found myself caught in the trenches of attempting to navigate that blurred boundary between friendship and romance. How was I to walk away from my friend? But how was I stay when I knew she didn’t love me in the way I needed? The song itself began to unfold when I realized I had to choose myself. By the time I set out to make the film, the meaning of the project evolved into a love letter to myself of sorts. Today this film serves as reminder to never lose sight of myself in the quest for someone else’s love or validation.
Finally, is there a message that you would like to share with the readers of Fierce & Fabulous Revolution?
Jess: Just a thank you for taking the time to read this interview. If you have 4 minutes and 44 seconds to watch this film I’d be very grateful! My only request is to watch it in a dark room. 🙂
You can check out the official video for “It Hurts To Love A Woman” below.
Jess Silber: Website / Instagram / YouTube.
Fierce & Fabulous Revolution 